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Vespera

by Godeater

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1.
Self Surgery 05:11
Who or what is any of this for? An empty theatre Staring at myself Maybe I’ve had too much time to think Desperate to move on Before I count to one I draw a line here and now From my sternum to my gut Nothing to numb, nothing to take for the pain Draining the pus Breaking the surface again I push myself under Clean my wounds With both eyes on the horizon I’ve got one foot in the grave Before I know it I’ll be dead I can’t be scared of living anymore I don’t know what I’m searching for Foreign bodies Scared of what I’ll find Things better left unsaid Imprisoned in skin In the safety of familiar cells Acclimatised to life on the inside Psychosomatic, self inflicted Why bother? Let myself slip away It got the best of me, Well what did that leave? Morbid curiosity compelling me to breathe A whole year cooking in my own juices Self awareness becomes self obsession Self surgery, where will it leave me? Are we healing or just rotting from the inside? My brain’s in a blender Flesh barely holding on I’m bursting at the seams I can’t hold it in anymore With both eyes on the horizon I’ve got one foot in the grave Before I know it I’ll be dead I can’t be scared of living anymore Things are always clearer when you take another look Life has left a back door open Giving you a second glance
2.
God Complex 04:57
A series of words to hide a lesson unlearned Distract and delay the way you prefer Human/inhuman The tether is severed The othering starts This twisted endeavour The pain is forever An insignificant island nation with ideas above its station Are you noticing a pattern? Leaps of logic come dyed in the wool Terminally deluded It’s only yourselves you manage to fool A nation waits Breath baited In the shadow of an obsolete weapon A nation waits Breath baited We hold a blunt knife to the throat of a colossus Slide down the slope, getting ever closer A supernatural veil for a darker reality Their words hide a nuclear wind Like a breeze through chimes Before the storm Before the crossed line A series of words to hide a lesson unlearned Distract and delay the way you prefer Human/inhuman The tether is severed The othering starts This twisted endeavour The pain is forever You see yourself as the hero You’re the only one Barrels (Gun????) to the head in mutual respect The threat rests in the hand not the gun Does it disappoint you to know your version of evil doesn’t exist? Just people in power hiding what’s real You have no idea where this path will end Is it worse to imagine that maybe you do After all you’re only human An insignificant island nation with ideas above its station Are you noticing a pattern? Leaps of logic come dyed in the wool Only yourselves you fooled Does it make it easier to accept To imagine great horns, gnashing teeth, sharp claws, black eyes Absolute power Dooms us all in the end You may only see a rotten flower But it sits atop a stem Roots and soil And to get to where its got to It’s needed water to drink Air to breathe And sunlight on which to feed
3.
The Hatchet 03:58
Worked your way up from nothing But with nothing standing in your way You think you’re measured You think you’re the definition of grace and poise Blind eyes Deaf ears Cross-eyed in the centre ground All these years Dig it up/I’m digging up the hatchet I’m digging up the hatchet ‘cause sometimes words are not enough You always say ‘it’s just your age’ You only say that from your cage Happy with what you’ve got Satisfied with your lot I can’t make you care Let’s let cooler head prevail My heart goes out to you I hear you I understand Please accept this round of applause Please accept these prayers and thoughts Please expect nothing to change Please understand we feel your pain Understand it’s no one’s fault Understand that nothing more can be done Where’s your sense of decorum Where’s your trust in the system They’ve gone the same way as your sense of compassion The same way as your sense of empathy Going, going, going, gone Enough to be happy To live comfortably Enough to close your eyes Enough to never need to ask why Is there a cure for this acute apathy Do you hope you’ll leave this mortal coil Before the horror starts Before the sleeping giant awakens Whether you believe there’s always hope Or you think you’re some kind of misanthrope You take the easy way out to hide the truth unspoken Suppression won’t make us equal If the conversation dies there will be no sequel
4.
Dehumanising, demonising Unfettered access to hate unabashed You won a lottery Yet you act like it was all strategy Take the boot from out your mouth and let’s see what dribbles out Do your own research But only what you want to hear The kind that validates all your inner prejudice and fears Ugly thoughts like a parasite Creeping in pushing out Til they’re spilling out from your mouth and ears Starved of love You’re capable of so much more They’ve got you Obeying for blood To be told that you’re never ever wrong That you’re something special from day one Nine hundred and thirty six weeks go by Then you’re let loose Shiny and glistening The filth sticks to your skin permeating, percolating Skin never thickening Layers of muck Just another layer of hurt And we’re all wading knee deep Trying to pull ourselves out Root and stem They pretend they’re on your side No prophet, all pander All bluster, no candour Nothing but fear Being taught for years and years Polished words for idle hands So that they one day sew hate Starved of love They’ve got you Obeying for blood
5.
Silhouette 04:30
How many times will you examine Something that’s long dead Can’t count how many times I’ve been back The decay remains the same Time passed me Can I catch me Can I leave this skin Growing pain I’m feeling Parting ways with myself Can’t take another look ‘cause I need to go Can’t let myself let it go Will I ever be at rest Will I find a final form Will there ever be a final scene What happens when the lights go down Don’t want to take the easy way, You miss the point of this pain I know I need it This is a lesson Let go Birch, hazel Peeling your skin Hidden useless punishment Won’t stop the bruises on your chin I know we can’t go on Living as a silhouette Rooted to the spot We can’t stay put yet Parting ways Shedding skin Don’t be afraid to lose yourself An autopsy An exorcism Bathe my brain in a chemical bath Break from the darkness and let it be gone Let it be gone
6.
Out of Body 05:56
A million voices Revolve inside my head Looking over my shoulder But all that’s there’s a mirror Closing every door I don’t want to speak anymore No man is an island But it’s getting that way And I’m starting to feel Like that’s how I want to be To cut myself off from the mainland Is it because I don’t recognise the people Or because I don’t recognise myself Too busy thinking of the words on the stone Without a second’s thought for who’s carving it As the sun sets Shadows looms ever larger And night after night they swallow me whole This might not be better But it won’t feel the same Parasocially induced ineptitude A million voices Revolve inside my head When you leave it all behind What is left for you to keep Always pulling up the roots Are we nothing but driftwood Defined by strangers Estranged from familiars I’m fading in and out Dry mouthed from social drought I cower in an unlocked cell Voluntary deprivation of the senses Escapism a permanent Destination Waiting for a sign that’ll never come Seeking a connection I put the scalpel down I scan for someone else To know the ones around me is to know myself Looking around at the empty theatre Innards tightly clutched in my bloody hands They’re mine forever They’re mine forever They’re mine forever Parasocially induced ineptitude A million voices Revolve inside my head When you leave it all behind What is left for you to keep Forever pulling up the roots Are we nothing but driftwood?
7.
Backwash 03:33
How can you stand yourself when you’ve got no spine This isn’t infinite growth It’s the end of a crumbling road No exceptions to the rule This is how it always was Is it how it always will be? Trickle down Settle down Going down, we’re going down Crushed under an ever-lowering glass ceiling Don’t bite the hand that feeds Until it’s gripped around your neck Living so unsustainably Expected to be thankful as we drink down your backwash If we can’t be used we’ll be trampled underfoot I’m tired of the talk just give it to me straight Your lack of honesty has cost the life of another You are a quisling, conscious enabler All of the power None of the will Green paint smeared on the walls fades Exposing the grey beneath Seeing everything Sharing nothing Softening the words of the cruel Everything’s ruined The world’s collapsing down the middle Flaying the skin from the truth’s back Sandblasting the writing on the wall It’s all water under the bridge But the river has burst its banks I’m lying on a table clinging onto life You’re lying to my face saying it’ll all be fine Tell me how can you stand yourself when you’ve got no spine
8.
Qualia 06:52
Grieving for what’s not yet gone Crippled by the fear of loss Clouds form, the wind of change Or just another draught? Living as if all of time will wait for me As if I am all that will exist No dread No fear No agency Will we remember the lesson Paradoxical lucidity Will we realise only too late That this is all we have As you walk out the door Into a blinding grey You’ll take a part of me, Just as I will carry you Both of us, never to be known again Innocence’s tight embrace relaxes As I wave goodbye to youth In slow motion Against my will I’m forced to wave goodbye to you It’s all gone and it’s not coming back I can’t afford to kill time when time is killing me Slow it all down and take a look around The door opens Take a second glance You’ll never get a second chance Do you see me as you once did? I’m wading through this hurt The world is flying by and fading faster still A conduit fading but with so much still to give and take It’s later than you think It’s later than you think Fallen out of touch with life I let it get away from me Before I count to one Don’t take it all away from me To live in the moment Still seems a dream All I can change is me All I can do is love Tapping on the glass Knocking on the front door Trying to find a present moment Are you going to go home Or will you sit yourself down Hoping on the off chance A light will come on When the sun shines behind the clouds I see it clearer than I ever could before I feel its warmth gently touch my face And while I’m sitting here with you I know it’s not the end of the world

credits

released September 30, 2022

Music Performed by Godeater
Music Composed by Ross Beagan
Lyrics by Josh Graham
Produced & Engineered by Ross Beagan
Mixed & Mastered by Fredrik Nordström at Studio Fredman
Artwork by Calum McMillan
Logo & Album Layout by Mitchell F Gillies

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Godeater Glasgow, UK

Godeater: A death metal band based in Glasgow, Scotland.

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